Archive for October, 2010

What you need to know about the coming floral revolt.


They’re everywhere. In our gardens, in pots on our porches, in vases (pronounced “vah-zes”), and even in our noses*. Some of us eat flowers everyday. They’re pretty, they’re funky, and one day in the not-too-distant future, they’ll raise a citizen army and stage a revolt against those humans who didn’t appreciate their contributions to society. Folks, the stakes have never been higher.

If we don’t act now, our kids will inherit a floral armageddon of biblical proportions. You don’t want that, do you? Some flowers have thorns!

Here’s something you can do right now to stave off the impending attack: buy flowers. Put them everywhere. Tell your friends who are getting married or expecting to die. At your next event, fill the room so full of flowers that attendees can’t even enter the room. (or make a “flower maze” and spank those who make it through**) Buy flowers indiscriminately and throw them haphazardly in the streets, from the rooftops and bridges, and into the ocean.

If you live in Texas, there’s really only one source for floral amazingness: Lindy Floral.

She’s based in Austin. She’s fully accredited by SPIFA (Society for the Prevention of the Impending Floral Armageddon). And she’s my sister-in-law***.

Check out her website, inquire about her services for your next event, and do your part to delay or diminish the inevitable. Knowledge is power, people. And now you know.

Do it.

That’s all.

*not sure where that came from.
*** she’s not blood related to the Holts, so she’s actually talented.